Kink and the Real World

Just as fair warning, this is my first blog post using the app for my new phone.

I've spent the last couple of days working on a project for one of the roleplay scenarios my Dom and I use on a regular basis, and as usual I can't help but try to think of ways to take it further.  Namely how to take it outside our home or a hotel room.  With some of the jobs we've had, we have a tendency to get recognized when we go out, which limits what sort of kink related things we can do publicly.   This lead me down a road that I've been down time and time again since I discovered my kinky side.  How to deal with kink in the real world.

I know this is hardly an issue unique to us.  Most kinky people face this problem.  It is part of what drove me to begin writing kink erotica.  There have been many times that I have wished I lived in the worlds I have created in my books.  In those worlds, kink is the real world for my characters.  They live the way so many of us wish we could, where "real life" as we know it interferes very little, if at all, with their pursuit of their kinky way of life.  In The Society, Annie makes a very nice living teaching on the kink convention circuit, owns a slave or two and has an incredibly handsome, loving Dom of her own.  The sexy Irish accent is just icing on the cake.  Her chosen career and income leave them free to essentially do as they please, kinky or otherwise.  

In the Slut University books, Allie is completely immersed in a world where (at least five days of the week) all she has to worry about is being the best slut she possibly can be for her Master and fiance Jake.  Gangbangs are an almost daily occurrence, as is wearing very little clothing and almost always having a butt plug in her ass.  Sure, she's helping him plan their wedding and dealing with adjusting to having a third partner in their home, but the "normal" worries most of us face just aren't an issue.  Ah, the lives of fictional characters.

Sadly, we do not share their worlds and unless we are independently wealthy and live somewhere like Vegas or NYC (myself I'm stuck in the bible belt), it's highly unlikely that we will ever have more than the smallest glimpse at living that way.  But this has lead us to being a very creative bunch.  Personally it has lead me to a serious interest in the mental side of what it is that we do.  Over the years, I have come to appreciate and enjoy being in a relationship where the D/s nature of it is always there, lurking just below the surface.  Of course, we also enjoy the physical aspect a good deal, and enjoy the fact that mostly working for myself gives me the time to work on projects like my current one, and to do things while I'm working at home that I couldn't do if I had a regular job. 

As a whole, those of us in the kink world have found ways to bring our kinks into the so-called real world. There are any number of collar options that simply look like necklaces to the vanilla world.  Cuffs too, and I know quite a few people who make use of this.  A sub or slave having their clothing chosen for them is also common, or they do more what I do,which is nearly always dressing with him and his preferences in mind.  Around here that means going barefoot a lot and having a large sandal collection.  On a wider scale, we kinky folk have found ways to identify ourselves to our like-minded brethren without giving anything away to the vanillas around us.  These have changed and evolved over the years, just as the kink community has.  We host munches and play parties and weekend conventions that allow us that chance to live in our fantasy worlds even if only for a brief moment.  

We take weekend getaways to places where no one knows us for the chance to be who we wish we could be all the time.  We gather online just to be able to talk without fear, to share our fantasies and to remind us that there are others who share them. We dream of a world that fully accepts us for who we are, and take pleasure in finding creative ways to enjoy our kinks with the vanilla world being none the wiser. 

Each relationship and situation is unique, and we all have our ways of getting our needs met.  What works for one person or situation doesn't always work for another.  I'd love to hear what you do to keep the kink strong for you and yours in this crazy world.  :-)