Life is a funny thing. I spent a large portion of yesterday working on notes and outline ideas for the fifth book in The Society Series. One thing I knew I wanted to work on including right away was Annie's training with Sean. In At The Manor parts one and two, we see her become aroused by one simple, largely non-sexual thing - submitting to him. Once she gets past the lingering fear she has from her past, the idea of giving over control to him is more arousing than anything he could physically do to her, and that's a level of eroticism I want to delve deeper in to. Annie is an extremely strong, fiery, stubborn and independent woman who has made a life for herself developing and implementing slave training techniques. She's the type to take charge in a crisis. She specializes in dealing with difficult slaves, the kind many wouldn't give a second thought to. And she becomes totally, completely, undeniably aroused by handing over the control she has fought so hard for to him. Oh yeah. I can hear you calling bullshit from here. This has to be pure fantasy - it is, after all, from a kink erotica novel. No way in real life would a woman like Annie go weak at the knees simply from the idea of giving over control to someone else, man or woman, no matter how good looking.
Alright. Let's take a look at real life. I consider myself fairly accomplished. I've owned my own business since I was twenty-three, adding my second at twenty-eight (I'm twenty-nine now). I teach. I'm working on my seventh novel, with the prospect of some non-fiction pieces on the horizon as well. I'm relatively well known in my home town, though not always by name for a number of reasons. I'm stubborn to a fault, fiercely protective of my friends and family and not one to bite their tongue when it comes to sharing my opinion. I have also experienced exactly what I write about there first hand. It's rare, sure. Very, very few men (and only one woman) have ever had the "Sean effect" on me, but when it happens, it's incredible. One word, one look, and the crotch of my pants would be drenched. Heaven help me if I was wearing a skirt at the time. That look, that word? Most commonly there is nothing sexual to it at all. It's that look that says "I own you." or "I control you." It's not so much what is actually said as it is the tone of voice, and the attitude of the person saying it. It's that feeling I describe in this bit from At The Manor:
Never had someone been able to make me feel so much by speaking only
one word at a time. It was as though some unseen force had control
of my limbs as I sank to my knees in the soft, dewy grass.
In my experience, it's been very much this way. Sure, there has been that little voice in my head yelling "what the fuck are you doing!", especially in the beginning. But in those moments there is nothing I can do but obey. Not because of any threat, spoken or otherwise, nor any agreement. It was for no other reason than because he said so. Yes. It's that simple. It's hard to explain it any further, though I wish I could. The feeling goes from head to toe, engulfing the entire body. It's an electric tension, radiating and causing you to feel your heartbeat in places you either didn't know you could or hadn't in ages. Since that first taste of it when I was eighteen, I've been hooked. I can't help it, and I don't want to. As I've grown, my desire to submit has grown right along with me. Now, here's the twist - I'm a switch. I've had two of my own submissives in the past, one male and one female. I'm pretty sure I can still make him twitch and turn red with just two little words. He was a large man, resembling a football player, and a good bit older than me, and that didn't matter. He knew who he answered to. I'll never forget, at least two years after we parted ways, getting a phone call from him out the blue. He was calling to thank me for something I had taught him, as it had just played a part in landing him a major promotion at work. I couldn't have been more proud.
Too many people confuse the desire to submit with willing to submit to anyone. I've been at parties before where I was wearing a collar - sometimes given to me by my Dom, other times just an accessory - and had some asshat wannabe dominant come over to me and try to tell me what to do. My reactions have ranged from laughing and walking away to looking strait at the man and saying, "Do you see your collar around my neck? I don't think so." I've been told I can't "really" or "truly" submit because I'm also able to be (and quite enjoy being) the dominant partner at times. It has been only for the sake of good manners that I haven't told these close minded idiots off on the spot. I'm just as capable of fully submitting as one who's never been on the wielding end of a whip. If I want to. I've been told I just haven't met the right guy that can make me "really" submit. Oh, I beg to differ. I've had my Sean, more than once. Most people only ever see my dominant side. Friends have laughed and cracked jokes at the thought of me being told what to do by my significant other. I just smile and let them keep thinking that. Those who have found themselves with the ability to control me on this level have taken great pleasure in having someone like me willing to submit to them.
I digress, however. Submission and sex are frequently linked. They don't have to be, but it does add a degree of fun. In my experience (I know, I know, I keep saying that), submission and arousal are almost always linked. Let's take a little trip back in time for another real life example. I'm eighteen. I've been hanging out in a hot tub with the man who would become my first Master (though we are nothing more than friends at this point), and become a bit over heated, so I'm sitting on the steps going up in to it. He doesn't ask if I can walk. Doesn't ask if I need anything. He gets out behind me, hands me a towel and says two little words. Don't move. In the few minutes I am alone while he gets me water, I barely even blink. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering why. I'm also trying to figure out the sudden non-hot tub related wetness between my legs. It wouldn't be until several weeks later that I would even begin to have an answer to that, and for years I've tried to figure out why it does what it does to me. As the years passed, I got to the point where the mere idea of submitting to the right person, being totally in their control - if only for a little while - drives me wild. I'll even admit that one of them is Sean. I totally have a crush on my own character. All the rest, as few as they are, happen to be real people.
It does happen. A strong woman can find complete bliss in submitting to the person of her choosing, and once she does, the control she is used to having over her life is gone. Sure, she may frequently make her own decisions, but that person's control is always there, and she knows it. A woman who is dominant in her everyday life can become inexplicably aroused by the delicate chain collar around her neck, right in the middle of a meeting. A powerful woman's happy place can be kneeling at the feet of the One who controls her as they watch television in the evening. And it is totally and completely possible to become aroused to the point of inability to walk or speak or think clearly just by having that person completely strip away the power and control you have during your every day life.
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